Communication Theory
by orangepencils
Summary: Matthew was just minding his own business, at his desk, when Gilbert walked in and threw him the craziest of questions. Innuendo, au


**Communication Theory**

**303**

**Explanations at the end. This is the little I remember from the many texts I had to read for my classes. This is how lame my brain is. Might remind some of a strip with France and Italy, but that truly is just a coincidence.**

**Disclaimer: INNUENDO LOL, AU**

**Characters: Prussia, Canada**

**Rating: T**

Communication Theory

Matthew Williams was sitting at his desk typing away the information that needed to be entered in the database. He worked for a local newspaper company and his job was to add the pictures with the appropriate texts. It wasn't what he wanted to do, but it paid the bills for now as he waited for an opening in his field. He was minding his own business when he felt a presence towering over him.

He raised his head and came face to face with Gilbert Beilschmidt. Gilbert was three years older than him and worked in the neighbouring department. The two were friends, much to the astonishment of their other colleagues, and it also happened that Matthew had a huge crush on him; not that he would ever tell the older man.

"Hey, Matt." Gilbert started off casually enough.

"What do you want, Gilbert?" The other man tsked and shook his head.

"You have no trust in me; I'm hurt. I just wanted to have intercourse with you." Matthew spit out the water he had been drinking and stared at his friend in disbelief. He had heard wrong. That was the only explanation.

"You want to WHAT?" He asked again, just to make sure.

"I said that I wanted to have intercourse with you. Or engage into it, whichever way you prefer it." Matthew felt it was safer not to say anything as the heat went to his face. He could feel his cheeks burning up.

"Don't be ridiculous. We're in public!" He finally managed to hiss out.

"Well, duh, that's why we should go to my office, come on!" Before he could protest, Gilbert was pulling him by the arm and even though Matthew did not get up from his seat, because it was a swivel chair, he was dragged to the other's office.

"Well, you're already seated so that's good; it'll make everything easier." Gilbert said as he closed the door behind him.

"Actually, I think I'll stand." Matthew said as he quickly got up and tried to put some distance between himself and his "friend".

"We can always do this standing. Whatever makes you more comfortable, but I always find it better when I sit." Matthew wanted to laugh, he wanted to shake his head and laugh. This was beyond ridiculous at this point.

"Gilbert, what the hell is this all about?" He finally snapped after standing there for a moment longer. Gilbert smirked at him.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"Of course not! No one in their right mind comes up to other people and asks them to have intercourse! Unless you're completely mental and apparently you are. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll leave." Gilbert laughed and Matthew was not amused.

"Mattie, Mattie, Mattie; you're missing the whole point to this. Everyone has intercourse, everyday, everywhere, with strangers, friends, families, coworkers…"

"This isn't some Roman orgy! Only Francis might do that, maybe, but personally, I've never been into incest or whatever else it was you mentioned." Matthew tried to leave, but the taller man blocked the door.

"But I never mentioned anything about incest."

"Then what the hell are you talking about?" He didn't like mind games.

"Just that." Gilbert said trying to stop himself from laughing. Matthew was even more confused.

"What?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"You wanted to talk to me? Why couldn't you just say that?" Gilbert finally let out a chuckle as he handed Matthew a piece of paper. The younger man took it and read it. By the time he had finished, he groaned to himself.

"That's just stupid, Gilbert, nobody says that anymore, but fine, what was it you wanted to tell me?" Gilbert smirked again, only this time; there was something different to it.

"Well, since you brought up the subject, I wanted to know if you wanted to communicate with the awesome me."

**OWARI**

**Back in the day, a few centuries ago, communication meant what intercourse means today and intercourse meant what communication means today. So communication used to equal sex and intercourse meant talking.**

**It was funny to me, okay?**

**Reviews, no matter how short, even if they are anonymous, mean a lot to me and let me know that my writing brings emotions to you readers out there. I see you, the ones who only favourite, the ones who add me to alert, don't think I don't. Even if it's just an exclamation point, it warms my heart.**

**Started writing: September 15****th**** 2010, 4:52pm**

**Finished writing: September 15****th**** 2010, 5:35pm**

**Started typing: September 16****th**** 2010, 9:18pm**

**Finished typing: September 16****th**** 2010, 9:37pm**


End file.
